Self Improvement Relationships Parenting Life Goals | Hu2 Q & A Blog | blog.theSecretPathOfLife.com

The Failing Economy

AJ Gentry — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 10:30:54 GMT

Do you have any tips to help with worries about the failing economy?

Sure I do, stop worrying. Most of the major issues affecting the
economy are far beyond your control and influence. So these are not
issues that you need to devote mental and physical energy toward.

Firstly, I'm not really sure where or why you got the idea that the
economy was failing. It is sluggish and chaotic, but it was still viable
and functioning the last time I looked at it.

You should be focusing your time and energy on things that you can
control that will serve to improve your lifestyle and family wellbeing.

To do otherwise robs you of time and mental focus and can even drain
you physically and eventually make you fall into illness.

Take care of YOUR daily matters and the things YOU can control and
influence and leave the concern over larger economic issues to those
directly involved.

Tighten your purse strings, look for ways to boost your immediate income
and wait for opportunities to arise through your daily personal contacts.

Diffusing Child Anxiety

AJ Gentry — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 11:27:47 GMT

My young children hate going to the dentist. What can I do?

Young children like their adult counterparts draw their conclusions
on like and dislike from the first exposure to almost anything.

Parents should make several visits to the barber, doctor or dentist
before any real work is performed.

Let the child get accustomed to the surroundings and people and
determine that this is not such a bad place with bad people before
they are subjected to any potentially upsetting interaction such
as teeth being pulled or hair being cut.

Once they have decided that everything is safe and alright and have
filed those feelings and thoughts away in their mind they will be far
more open to the required procedures.

Crazy Drivers Make Me Crazy

AJ Gentry — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 15:44:48 GMT

I'm so mad at the crazy drivers. Is there anything I can do?

Yes, be patient and understand why they are the way they are.
There are some specific ways to deal with drivers that simply
insist of following a path of poor human decision and action.

1. Give them what they want.
If you try to create a head-on conflict they will simply push harder
to get their way and that may be dangerous to you and others.
There is nothing to be gained and it simply isn't worth the risk.

2. Show them the way.
In many cases courtesy is considered a weakness to be taken
advantage of by dominant controlling people on the highway,
but there are a few people who will learn from your acts of
kindness and patience.

3. Refuse to let it change you.
Maintain your balance and normal patterns of driving. Don't let
their decisions and actions control how you drive your vehicle.
Show them the way instead of trying to teach them a lesson
by getting ahead or beating them. That puts you into their
category and gives them control over your decisions.

4. Don't assign a personality to a specific vehicle.
Since the driver is almost unseen many people associate the driver
personality with the vehicle and soon they are chasing that vehicle.

5. Ignore them.
There are some people so hard headed that they simply won't change
their poor decision patterns. Ignore them and go on about your way.
Once they drive into the sunset they are no longer an issue in your
living experience.

Getting Rid of the Poor

AJ Gentry — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:02:43 GMT

What can I do to help my totally unreliable friend?

The reason many of the techniques people try are so time
consuming or ineffective when dealing with the poor
living patterns of friends and family is because
the techniques center on doing something
to or for the person in question.

The truly effective process is one where the desire to change
is instilled in the person and they change from within
through their own efforts.

You cannot do anything or change your friend, but you can
instill an extreme desire to improve in their thoughts.
They must then turn those thoughts into action.

Be creative! The more emotional and feeling related that inspiration
is the more powerful and effective the pattern changes will also be.

Resist the urge to overpower the other person or force your opinion
upon them. You aren't trying to sink his boat you just want to give
it a little friendly nudge to change his eventual course of life.

Power Comes from Choice

AJ Gentry — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 11:38:59 GMT

How can I get my kids to do their chores better?

Children, like adults, want to do what they want and not what is
necessarily needed in the moment. However, the imagination
of a child allows you to alter their patterns easier than adults
that have become set in their ways.

Turn chores into games or play and you resolve many of your concerns.

Things must be fun and exciting for a child. They seek out excitement
and avoid effort without fun as much as possible. Even the food they eat
is attached to feelings of pleasure. Pizza is fun, but spinach is not.

Keep a jar filled with slips of paper with chores written on them.
Throw in a few blank slips too and then let the children choose their
own chores from the job jar!

If they pull a blank slip you might let them choose their own chore
or skip the daily chore responsibility altogether. Anything that makes
the process and especially the chore more fun will stimulate them
better than just verbal directives to "go do this or that".

Learn to think and talk with your children.

Quick Tips to Live With

AJ Gentry — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:33:19 GMT

Can you give me a few quick and easy ideas on how to improve?

People are always asking me for small tidbits of human living skills
that I have seen, read or heard. So, I thought I might continue to
give out a few gems. Here are a few more simple yet effective
living skills tips that some might find immediately useful.

People resist change which is the thing that brings success.
Success is more often a byproduct of effort than talent.
Love is an investment that yields wonderful returns.
Your efforts should far outnumber your excuses.
Whatever you love to do you will do well.

When Luck Sucks

AJ Gentry — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:37:40 GMT

How do I change my luck if things just don't work?

Everything works, under the right circumstances and situation.
The trick is in being the person it works for at a time when
you desire specific results.

This is accomplished by placing yourself in the right position
at the right moment with the living skills required to produce
results viewed as positive and satisfactory. It is certainly
not created by sitting idle as you watch others put forth
the time and effort to succeed.

When something doesn't work you have simply eliminated a
pattern that doesn't lead to the result you wanted. Try again
and try something different. It is amazing and somewhat
baffling how and why people often follow the same
pattern attempting to get different results.

They revise their expectations and goals, but use the same
tired and proven ineffective steps in their quest.

When things don't work follow these guidelines:

Avoid conditions that need to occur or reasons to do anything.
Identify why you didn't get the results you had expected.
Define a realistic, yet different pattern of future action.
Identify checkpoints along the way to stay on track.
Get the opinions of others instead of just yours.
Never rely exclusively on Luck or Chance.

More Tips on Living Well

AJ Gentry — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 21:30:47 GMT

Do you have any simple yet effective living skills to share?

Here's a follow-up to my last blog entry of tips for living with
quality and excellence. Just a few extra tips you can use
almost anywhere and anytime to improve your results.

It's not what happens that's important, but what you do about it.

Trust and respect are the substance of the quality relationship.

Very little is more rewarding than a job that you truly enjoy.

Making a living is not the same thing as making a life.

Enthusiasm and ambition are caught, not taught.

Free Tips on Living Well

AJ Gentry — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 10:41:32 GMT

Do you have any more wonderful free tips on living well?

Oh, I could ramble on for a few hours about the wonders of human
thought, emotions and feelings, but instead I'll simply offer a few
things I've read or learned over the years.

You are only as happy as you decide to be.

You are responsible for what you do and don't do.

Creative thoughts come from imagination not expertise.

You can always find time to do things you REALLY want to do.

Your feelings are always better when they are shared with someone.

What you think of yourself is far more important than what others think.

The Doping of Athletes

AJ Gentry — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:48:47 GMT

As a athlete what do you think of doping and cheating?

Almost any athlete who has put in the long hours of training
should view such ways of getting an advantage as negative.
It is not a true reflection of what you are as an athlete
and what you are capable of as a human being.

Personally, I am amazed by the attempts. With all of the
scrutiny and testing it would seem all but fruitless to even
attempt such methods of circumventing true competition.

Those eventually caught are usually stripped of their awards
and often banned from the very sport they love and have
devoted so much time and effort toward.

Being an elite athlete is about more than strong muscles
and athletic ability.

It is a pattern of human excellence that permeates the very
core of the individual.

Change the Mood over Food

AJ Gentry — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 09:26:35 GMT

How about some tips for parents with overweight children?

One of the top five topics parents want to discuss in the past few
years has been weight concern issues with children, especially
children under 12 years of age.

Part of this is because family meals are not as structured as in past
years and also the exposure to fast food has increased over the years.

Here are some simple tips that might help:

1. Don't be so strict.
Allow children to eat a slice of pizza or two every now and then. If you
are too strict and don't let them have any they may overeat that food
if they get a chance.

2. Clear out the junk.
Eliminate the candy, cookies and sweets from the pantry. Kids can't
eat it if it isn't there.

3. Keep fresh fruit handy.
It is far better to spend a little extra on the quality fresh fruit your
children love.

4. Connect sports and quality food.
Teach children to equate quality food with athletic performance
in their favorite sports.

5. Play with your kids.
Make certain your children get up, go out and get plenty
of quality exercise.

Here's a big bonus tip:

6. Help kids drink plenty of water.
Let them have a soda every now and then if they want, but make
certain they drink plenty of water.

Even flavored waters are better than heavier sugary drinks.

10 Ways to Help a Neighbor

AJ Gentry — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 11:02:13 GMT

What is a good way for me to help my local community from home?

The sagging economy and the financial demands of higher costs
have put a lot of people in a position that can be unexpected,
uncomfortable and stressful if they allow it to be.

People you call neighbors may be hurting far more than you realize!

Here are a few ways you can help a neighbor in need.

1. Let them know you are there for them.
They can't read minds and most likely won't ask for your help even if
they need it badly.

2. Reduce their burdens by lending a free helping hand.
Help out with things they normally pay for like lawn work.

3. Reduce their spending by sharing clothing.
If you have good quality clothing you don't need or no longer use, share it.
Especially if you have clothing that will fit the neighbor's children.

4. Sponsor a neighborhood yard sale.
Organize a sale they can participate in and then give all of the proceeds
to the neighbor that is truly in need.

5. Offer to babysit their children.
If your schedule allows and you are willing babysit their children on certain
days of the week. This helps them reduce high cost weekly child care.

6. Combine their errands with yours.
Ask if you can include their shopping or other daily travel chores such as a
post office, banking or child pick-up need into your schedule. This will save
them time and fuel.

7. Support their educational needs.
If you get a new computer or printer consider donating your old one if it still
works fine to a neighbor. This will help a lot with their high cost family needs.

8. Provide a service or skill.
Perhaps they have a child in need of lessons such as learning the piano or
a specific sport. Lend a hand and save them money by offering to teach or
train the child as a coach or mentor.

9. Offer them bulk discount savings.
Do you belong to a discount store where everything comes in large quantity
for savings? Consider splitting purchases to help save them some money.

10. Provide a meal each week.
If you are a close friend take their family out or have them over to eat once
a week. This will go a long way in their weekly food budget.

You Against Everyone Else

AJ Gentry — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 10:57:08 GMT

Is there a reason you focus so strongly on morals and values?

Yes, because the pace and demands of society and the economy
are slowly making people abandon their standards and principles
in favor of making a living and success.

People are compromising themselves every day just to provide food
and shelter for their families.

Suddenly it is becoming common and acceptable to expect to ALWAYS
be number one even at the expense of those around us.

I don't usually mix my blogs, but I will ask you to visit my entry at
The Human Life Map Blogcast today to see what I mean. Sometimes
what you win simply isn't good enough to satisfy everyone.

I believe it is important to succeed and win, but you should not have to
compromise personal human values just to provide a living for your family.

Success with high standards, values and principles IS quality living. Anything
else is a candy coated shell of deception that is accepted simply for result.

Asphyxiated by Love

AJ Gentry — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:08:26 GMT

Any tips for a smothered mom of three with almost no family time?

Actually, there are a few super tips I can share that will allow you
to reduce the wasted time around the family. These are simple,
but often overlooked.

1. Don't fall into the pattern of trying to be TOO perfect.

You want to get things done, but reduce the urge to spend your
every waking moment doing something OTHER than spending
time with your family.

2. Don't confuse time around family as time spent WITH the family.

One is nothing more than proximity and the other is meaningful interaction.

3. Let family members help.

Children can help around the home which gives you a chance to talk
with them if you are skillful. Also teens can help reduce your time and
cost with routine household chores such as cleaning and lawn work.

4. Leave your work behind at the office.

Avoid overlapping your career and time at home with the family.

5. Just say NO.

Understand that you do not have to attend every school function
and activity that is offered to your children or yourself. This is
especially true with several children in a multitude of different
social activities.

Screaming at the Moon

AJ Gentry — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 09:59:45 GMT

I yell and scream, but my kids turn butt and won't listen. What can I do?

Getting anyone to pay attention to you and do what you request of them
is a challenge in living especially with young children.

First, screaming and yelling don't work. If you scream loud enough you
might get their attention and intimidate them, but that will only last a
short time and doesn't go far in getting them to do whatever it is
that you desire.

Children and teens don't listen well because their focus is on imagination
and not instruction. To establish a connection you must break their pattern
of imagination to allow room for your instruction.

Go to the child instead of yelling from a distance.
Get down and communicate on the level of the child.
Break their imagination pattern BEFORE any instruction.
Keep instruction short and descriptive of the result desired.
Thank them ahead of time to generate a feeling of obligation.

The Best Cell Phone

AJ Gentry — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 19:09:53 GMT

Is the fact that you don't like cell phones why you ban them in seminars?

Personally I have no more dislike for a cell phone than I do a hammer
or screwdriver. Each is a tool in its own right and has a specific purpose.

What I dislike is the way people USE cell phones. I see a distinct pattern
of abuse that now borders on addiction in some people.

You don't see people walking around in restaurants and stores constantly
banging a hammer on everything without being able to put it down for any
extended period of time, do you?

The cell phone is a communication device. That is a defined purpose.

However, when people begin to communicate simply because the cell
phone is available or they desire to use it then their patterns of living
are being controlled by the device instead of them being in control
of the use of the device.

How often and much would you talk if the cell phone were not there?

How much and often did you talk before the cell phone arrived?

If you talk MORE NOW the cell phone is influencing your living patterns
and many cell phone users simply don't see how strongly this device
is influencing and controlling their lives. They are plugged into a
telcom-network all day and almost come to a functional halt if
that communication link goes down.

I still use any telephone with the same frequency pattern and duration
that I always have.

The best cell phone is the one you can put down.

Treated Badly at Work

AJ Gentry — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 15:09:18 GMT

How should I handle the ex-employee who feels I have wronged him?

There are times when people part ways and each has their own
specific take on the status and meanings of that parting.

Both are RIGHT because reality to the individual is based on
personal perception and interpretation.

Handle this person with the same patterns of quality business ethics
you would apply to everyone. However, be especially cautious not
to downplay the feelings, intentions or motivations of the ex-employee.

The seriousness of the matter is defined in their mind not yours!

Make every attempt to converse with them to let them know you are
open to their side of the matter and to help diffuse some of the feelings.

In some special cases you may need to provide them with other direction
so that they can put the matter behind them. At times the ex-employee
doesn't know where to turn next and that fact makes them gravitate back y
our way.

Drawing a Last Breath

AJ Gentry — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 10:42:45 GMT

How could my mother have lived a very hard life, but died happy?

There are two reasons for the difference between the living path
your mother took and the place she arrived at in the final
moments of her life.

What you experience along the way doesn't always equate into
the destination. There may be hardships and delays during
your family vacation trip, but that doesn't necessarily
taint the happiness and good times you experience
at your final point of arrival.

Life is what you make and accept of it. Just because you experienced
troubles along the way doesn't mean that your trip will be a disaster.
You carry the emotions and attitudes of the moment with you into
the next moments. If you focus on letting go of the old negative
feelings in lieu of fresh happiness the experience is greatly enhanced.

You mother doesn't seem to have held on to the feelings of the
hardships,but instead she opted to accept them for what they
were and focused on living her life and enjoying her final
moments as she would make and accept of it.

What will you be focused on when you are drawing a last breath?

Falling From 30,000 Feet

AJ Gentry — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 10:55:59 GMT

What is one of the most severe conditions you see in celebrities?

When we are children we have very little in material possessions
of real value in the adult world. To the child these things have value,
but that is as far as it goes.

As you grow older you begin to acquire items with more real value
on an adult scale. Each person has a specific level of possession
and influence value.

Celebrities are celebrities simply because of influence value.

This often affords them the luxury of a higher level of material possession
value too. However, most celebrities are such in fields that cause them
to slowly diminish in popularity over time.

Then they must deal with the sometimes rapid descent from their lofty
perch of fame and fortune.

I have always thought it is far easier to have a modest amount and lose
some than to have a great deal and lose almost all. The shock on the
human system causes these people to be filled with denial and desperation.

Those who aspire to celebrity status must realize that sometimes the
downhill side is far steeper and faster than going up in the beginning.

The average person may stumble and fall, but a celebrity falls from 30,000 feet!

Killing Just to be Killing

AJ Gentry — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 09:40:28 GMT

What do you think of the recent rash of murders in the news?

I'm not so sure that it is very recent. Crimes of this nature have
existed since man began to socialize and walk upright, but the
pressure of modern living stimulates erratic behavior in people
as they find themselves in a corner or mentally breakdown.

The willful killing of another human, taking and ending a life is a
most extreme act and requires a mental thought process that
exposes the depth of the individual malady.

Age has little to do with the seriousness of this condition.
Society cannot look differently at a child or teen who has mentally
accepted the thoughts of killing another. This acceptance and will
to act on those accepted thoughts makes a killer equal regardless
of age or background.

So often conditions are applied because of age and the legal
process is softened. The situation is the same and must be
treated with the same degree of caution. The desire and
willingness to kill is even more disturbing when the
person is very young.

I believe our focus should be on the sources that cultivate an
acceptance of killing especially in children and teenagers.
Without pointing fingers I must still bring up that something
they have seen or heard over and over again has programmed
their brain and reasoning level to view the thoughts of killing
as normal and acceptable.

I'm far less concerned with the dangers of fireworks and side air
bags than I am with the materials we allow our children to absorb
for hours each day that expose them to violence and a disregard
for the feelings and life of others.

Others kill out of mental imbalance, emotional imbalance or suppressed
desires that take hold of the person and direct their thoughts and actions.

These people will always be in society to some degree and must be dealt
with on an individual basis.