What is a setback? Is it really an event that deters your growth
or is it a figment of your imagination.

Actually, it's a little of both.

Decisions are the source of action or inaction which yields
results. A setback is your personal view of the result defined
by your expectations.

It seems that everyone wants to eliminate problems and
setbacks from their living experience, but what they fail
to grasp is that such results are necessary.

You see, we cannot experience progress and success
without the mirror of poor results. One cannot exist without
the other and both are nothing more than your personal
perception of the quality of the results.

Setbacks, delays, failures and poor results are much easier
to accept and handle when you finally come to realize that
they don't actually exist. They are simple results left to
your interpretation.

What you find disastrous might seem like good fortune to
another person. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and
so is success.

So how do you manage setbacks and poor results?

Accept the results you get as nothing more than results.
Try not to link your emotions and desires to expectations
and pour your energies into focus and attempting to do
your very best.

Learn from your results and use them to refine your efforts
instead of viewing them as obstacles that must be overcome.

I was devastated to hear the news of Michael Jackson's passing.
Not so much because it was unexpected, but due to the truth
of the matter.

The truth is an era has passed. Throughout the history of music
several people have stepped forward to set the benchmark
standards by which other performers measure theirs results.

Elvis, The Beatles and Michael Jackson certainly stand out for
their influence and direction.

Like Elvis and John Lennon the loss of Michael Jackson will
signal the end of a chapter in music history.

Now we can all remember him for his contributions rather than
his media image.

We have placed men on the moon, researched the deepest
ocean and developed technology that allows us amazing
skills, but there is one area of human existence that still
challenges man.

The fear of rejection and failure. The great void of procrastination,
indecision and helplessness created by the perception of
potential bad results.

Why try when this or that might happen? People may reject
you or your efforts or your results may be seen and labeled
as a grand failure. There may be public discomfort,
embarrassment or ridicule that you will find difficult
and uncomfortable to endure.

In most cases you will put far more time and effort into avoiding
bad results that you ever will into seeking out good results. It's
a natural human survival characteristic to avoid hurt and pain.
Having pleasure is nice, but not experiencing any misery is a
major focus and goal.

Usually most of the pain and discomfort is imaginary. It is what
we expect to happen if circumstances generate a result that is
not what we desire. The important key here is that people avoid
the pain and discomfort "before it happens". They don't want to
experience it at all so they deviate ahead of time.

When you apply this reasoning to your entire living experience
your life becomes a contorted vision of what may or might
happen. You are living through your fear of rejection and
failure and the course of your life is affected.

If you've ever watched mountain climbers travel over a glacier
you know they are confronted with deep fissures in the ice
which must be traversed. To do this they suspend aluminum
ladders over the void and they cross over the ladders.

Any void created by the fear of rejection and failure can be
crossed exactly the same way by using reason as a ladder
to span the void of fear. Step by step you can slowly reason
and comprehend that what might may never so taking a
chance isn't quite as bad as you envisioned.

The void of fear is only as wide as you choose to make it.
You'll be amazed how narrow you can make it if you only try.
The small remaining fear can be easily bridged by solid reason
and trust.

I know exactly where you're coming from and what you're
going through right now.

First, it's not such a big deal. I mean you have a little money
and there's always an odd job and things you can do for
people you know to earn a little on the side to cover
expenses, but soon the bills begin to pile up.

There doesn't seem to be as much extra work and no jobs
are calling back

Credit cards help for awhile if you have them, but soon they
max out and the payments only add to the problem you are
facing along with the oppressive finance charges and over
limit fees that nullify a large portion of your payment attempts.

Confusion and desperation set in. You don't know where to
turn or what to do next.

You try borrowing some money from family and friends, but
that soon dries up too and eventually you resort to selling or
pawning off personal belongings to create some cash flow.

You feel like your back is against a wall and the demand for
money is coming at you from every direction.

You still have some stuff, but the only way to sell that is a
yard sale or two and that will only bring in a small amount
of cash.

Where do you go after everything dries up? When you don't
have anything left to sell that will bring in enough money and
there's no one else you can borrow from.

You need help. You need advice and cash flow and you need
it soon!

The pressure is on and your stress level is rising unless you
know how to control it.

It's right about now that hopelessness sets in for some people.
In their mind they are trapped with nowhere to turn and nothing
but pain ahead in the future. They begin to compare the pain
and struggle of living with the apparent peace of death through
self-destruction.

There is always hope and help if you only LOOK for it. I have
rarely met anyone that will turn their back on someone that
desperate in need. Once you take this ultimate step of
self-destruction there is nothing further to be done to
resolve your situation.

You must LIVE to be a success. Success, happiness and
fulfillment are the result symptoms of living a full and exciting
life not a sudden and final end.

If you are smothered under the pressure of debt, economic
or family concerns reach out for help NOW while there is still
an opportunity for others to come to your assistance. It is
never a shame or bad thing to ask for help. We must all
do it some time in our living experience.

Open up to a trusted friend, family member or some other
responsible person. Whatever you do, don't try to hold the
feelings inside as you "deal with it" on your own. You need
a second opinion and the ability to bounce new ideas off
someone else.

In short, you need direction. Finding your way out of debt
and despair requires a planned path and the motivation to
move along that path. If you had those two things you
wouldn't be standing where you are right now.

As a professional coach I don't FIX people. I don't tell them
what to do. Instead we help people find their own path and
then support them as they begin the long journey. You must
make the effort to walk the path step by step until you arrive
at the other end where your goals are waiting for you.

If you are reading these words don't get up from this entry
without first establishing your next 30 days of objectives and
doing at least one thing, one decision and action that moves
you along your path toward those desired objectives.

Do it now and leave the pressure and pain behind you.

Have you ever thrown darts or played any game or shooting
sport that required a target? If you have you'll know that your
results or the perceived quality of your results depends on
where you focus and aim.

It's exactly the same way with positive results in life. If you
are facing a challenge or problem as most people label the
situation and your focus is on that problem your aim if OFF.

You should be focused on a solution or resolution to the issue
not the negative circumstances that constitute the challenge
itself. If you remain focused on the problem all your mind will
do is return more concepts and ideas that are problem related.

When you focus on missing the target that is quite often
exactly what happens. Your aim is off and you miss the mark.
Intent focus on the bulls eye is the only way shy of random
chance to hit the center of the target or objective.

Next time you are faced with a true challenge divert all of your
focus toward a solution only and wipe all thoughts of the
challenge from your mind. Write down every idea that comes
to mind no matter how silly or trivial. Many times great ideas
come in sections and out of sequence and need to be combined
and sorted after the fact.

Then spend some time designing a solution from the ideas
and concepts you have written down.

You'll be amazed at how easily and quickly viable answers will
come to you for even the biggest challenge when you aim at the
solution bulls eye and not at the wall of defeat.

How badly do you want it? I really don't care what the "it" is
as much as your driving focus on having "it" in your life. What
will you do to have "it" in your life starting right now?

During our discussions of self-growth and the accumulation
of wealth and abundance you must confront the demons
of lack-luster desire.

People think they want more...for about 5 minutes. Some
discussion with another or moment of coming up short of
pocket cash or in the payment of some expense stimulates
sharp thoughts of having more, wanting more.

They vow to find a new job, improve their salary or achieve
some lofty goal only to have the motivation fade quickly as
they become distracted by other daily functions of the living
experience.

People that succeed in reaching their financial, career and
lifestyle goals have a focused, driving, almost obsessive
vision of "what WILL be". They don't think in terms of
"what MIGHT be" or should be.

Successful people renew their motivation and commitment
each morning and throughout every day. They eat, live and
breathe success and self-improvement. They never take
their eyes or mind off the accepted goal.

People that struggle waver. They detach from their goals
and dreams while they are "busy" living. Those thoughts
must wait until later as they clutter their mind with the
basics of survival.

Successful people write down their goals and formulate
realistic detailed plans to achieve those goals. Each step
is treated as vital and carefully measured to monitor growth.

The sufferers have dreams and goals in their mind. They
rarely take the time to write down these "pipe dreams"
because they are busy and simply don't have the time.
Little effort or time is expended in moving toward these
transparent goals.

To be successful you must think successful, now! There
is no condition that must occur or amount of time that must
pass before you begin. To avoid starting is to expose your
fear of starting and your potential fear of succeeding.

One must keep these thought constantly and consistently
in their thoughts. You want to always be moving each day
in small steps toward your dream goals.

You must reaffirm your commitment and drive to maintain
direction.

You simply cannot be too busy living to have time to pursue
living excellence.

You can't do it all alone or at least it's massively tougher to
shoulder the entire burden. We've discussed that fact, but
you also need to focus on the very thing you may be
running from.

Money. There is one unique truth that divides the successful
or those people getting what they desire most from those
struggling with setbacks and confusion. People that get
the results they want are steadfastly focused on those
results.

So often I am confronted by people that have little or no
clarity or focus with regard to income. They know they
want income, but they have no clear vision of how much
or when they want to have it.

Their living experience is a progression of redundant pattern
days. They confuse doing something with getting something
done. They are busy, too busy to live, but the end result
never seems to bring them any closer to their goals and
dreams.

The human mind is a special tool. Feed it positive input and
consistent focus and it will take that focus and direct you
toward the reality encompassing those circumstances.

Successful people have discovered that secret.

They understand that concentrated focus on specific goals
yield positive progressive results.

If you are alone in your endeavors, if you lack definitive goals
and an almost obsessive focus on specific results reconsider
your pattern. Random wishy-washy focus and effort most
often produces results of the kind.

Be strong, be focused and stand resolutely fixed on your
specific result. Write down where you want to be, how much
you want to have and when you want to achieve those results.

Then document the specific steps you will take to make
them become reality.

Everyone has a dream. The vision of what they will become
over a lifetime. If you want this dream to become reality in
actuality it must be transformed from your imagination into
effective action.

I recently wrote on THLM Blog about the ineffective method
people use of going through life doing everything by themself.
In almost any endeavor you will find that it is easier if you
have some support and help.

By doing things alone you are paddling your personal canoe
of life alone. Unless you are skilled in changing sides you'll
find yourself going in circles. However, having a coach, mentor,
teacher, relative, friend or some other person there to help
paddle from the other side you can make progress.

The senior executive, professional athletes, actors, performers
and other successful people I work with as a coach / mentor
fully understand this fact. They empower their efforts by having
other skilled people standing beside them.

Another point you must understand is this. You MUST
maintain a process of personal development. Every client
I have ever worked with that is a major success was able
to comprehend and act on this process.

Often I talk to people that are struggling with life and career
results. In EVERY case, they are violating both of these
concepts.

First, they are content in doing everything alone. They don't
believe they need support or direction and that success is
simply a matter of hard work and "luck". Secondly, they
feel they must change the circumstances and others
around them.

There is little or no thought or effort spent on improving
themselves. In fact, many answer that there is absolutely
nothing wrong with them or in need of change. It's always
someone or something else that is holding them back.

Consider this. Every successful, rich or famous person you
see in the news or on television has a team of people
including an agent, coach/mentor, publicist, attorney,
accountant and more.

Every "average" person or family you see struggling with debt,
job loss and living demands does not. If you talk to those
struggling people they simply don't see a reason to have
such people nor do they think they can afford them.

They continue to follow the same patterns day in and day out
expecting a different result. They do everything "alone" and
make little if any effort toward personal development. They
spend most of their waking hours trying to change something
or make others conform to their view of how the world should
be so that they will get the results they desire.

Successful people need a support team. Most cannot imagine
how they could afford "not to" have these people in their life
and career. Their team is the source of direction, advice,
and even jobs.

Professional teams must have coaches. Not just a head coach,
but coaches specific to various areas and skills within the
team design. Together they create a winning combination.

Have you been struggling to do everything all alone?

Have you been avoiding any form of personal development?

I find it amazing how people will chase after diet and weight-loss
coaching, yet disregard life coaching which affects every result
in their living experience including weigh control.

Without support you are lost, alone in the ocean of humanity.

Some weeks ago someone contacted us and asked if we had
any naked pictures of Casey Anthony. What follows was a
result that proves a valuable point.

After that happened we ran a post on The Human Life Map Blog.
That post has become one of our most read entries.

It was curious and somewhat disturbing that a post on naked
pictures would far overpower any entry regarding self-improvement
and living a better life. It reflected the curiosity and focus of the
readers at that time or at least it drew their attention.

Why have we as a society given in to such direction in life?
The almost hypnotic fascination with cell phones, sitcoms and a
lifestyle moving so fast you can't keep up with it. The almost total
disregard for the rights and feelings of others on our highways, in
stores and on the street.

Why have some people evolved to be hypersensitive to social
issues? The reasonable and well needed controls and policies
have been contorted to be a weapon used against anyone
deemed to be "out of line".

People have started to take it personally. They identify with
news events as if they were part of their personal life and they
react in a highly interactive manner.

The Casey Anthony story brings this to light. I watch the news
and I follow the main current events stories, but I'm not likely to
go stand outside Casey Anthony's parent's home with a sign
protesting. I'm also not going to call up every woman in the
telephone book named Melissa Huckaby and threaten them
just because Sandra Cantu was killed.

The Casey Anthony story has far more to share with us than
just thoughts of her standing naked somewhere. It is critical
that we learn everything we can about the person so that we
might identify the signs and symptoms in future young people
before the event repeats itself.

You look at this story and wonder why Casey didn't leave the
little girl with her mother or give her up for adoption?

Why did she have to destroy Caylee?

That is a critical missing thread of reasoning that we need to find.

Caylee Anthony could have been saved if the situation had been
identified as truly dangerous to her well being by someone close
to her. We don't need laws that "keep us from" disciplining our
children we need laws that "support our efforts" to do so.

And we, as viable educated adults need to be aware of and diligent
in identifying any signs that young people are not or have not
developed correctly and are on a path leading to poor results.