Here's an example of poor decision making that I'm certain involved
a lot of planning with many educated adults.

Placing black rubber mats on a playground for children.

The mental focus was obviously on protecting the children from falls,
but very little consideration was given to the fact that the black rubber
would heat up in the sunlight to extremely high temperatures that
could almost instantly burn skin.

A little child ran out barefoot onto the mats and was immediately
and severely burned.

Sometimes our best efforts, intentions and thoughts don't produce
the best results.

If however, the camp is all focus on detail children will most likely
get quickly disenchanted with it as they wander off to play.

A good camp is a balance of fun, learning and hands-on experience.

This isn't a question of right and wrong. If you approach any situation looking
for the right and wrong it becomes an imbalanced view. Both ladies have
their own opinion and I doubt if those opinions match.

However, there are rules for their profession, both written and the unwritten
yet mutually understood. At 200 mph everyone must be looking out for each
other. Auto racing is a sport not a life and death risk event.

How rare must it be to have any driver intentionally risk their own life and career
just for a position on a practice day?

Most likely this was just a timing matter in a sport that happens by the seconds
and not any intentional act. Personally, I believe Danica and Milka will work it
out between them.

You don't get to their level in that sport without sound reasoning.

In a way focal patterns are a lot lot sound waves. Children for example
have much shorter natural focal patterns than adults.

One is routine pattern.
Here the person gets into such a routine that they begin to shift focus
too quickly. Someone taking your order doesn't get it all because
they mentally shifted to ringing the item on the register.

Another pattern is fear or anxiety.
In this case the person is under such self-imposed stress that focus
constantly shifts about seeking out any warning sign of threat.

Finally there are pattern disorders.
ADHD people have extremely rapid and erratic focus shifting patterns.

There are two things I have adopted as a way of dealing with delay time.

1. First, accept that these moments will happen and try to have
some self-control when they do.

2. Take along some favorite music, audio books or learning materials
to listen to during the delay.

This isn't to say that one must not defend against an attack
especially for your safety or the safety of another. Personal
defense based on the moment is not fostering a thought
pattern of attack.

Proper defense is the neutralization of attack.

Certainly the child bully is imbalanced and often their actions are
a reflection of something they have seen and heard. Perhaps the
situation is created by the bully being physically larger or
stronger than the other children.

The child bully most likely hasn't yet developed to a point where they
see their actions as socially improper and are not able to comprehend
the reasons not to repeat the actions. So talking to the minor child
is not the proper course.

Talking to the parents is the proper course, but not necessarily a solution.
In fact, the parents may react strongly or encourage the child to continue.

This is one time when you must use best judgment and reason
to find a common ground between all of the parents involved.

If this is on the grounds of a school the proper school personnel
should also be involved.

Of course it would be best to discuss the matter and resolve the
feelings and anger, but this is an imbalance in your father and
there is little you can you to change for him.

Be supportive and understanding, but he must change
and come to you.

Like the cogs of any watch or mechanism as you follow the same
patterns day in and day out you begin to wear down under the routine.

Unless you revise your routine and add some fresh activities into the
schedule eventually you will either get disenchanted with life, sick or both.

These don't have to be earth shattering changes just functions and
activities that break the routine patterns and offer you some new
excitement and process.

They spark your ambition and create the urge to get on with life
instead of getting up, going through the daily process and then
going back to bed.

In fact, children are usually more focused on the fun and excitement
at hand than any of the crowds and people around them. That is
often why children get abducted easily. They are not aware of
the people and dangers lurking near them.

When people get older they become somewhat less tolerant
of confining situations and large noisy crowds of people.

This is most likely just a symptom of maturity and your desire not
to put yourself into that situation. However, if you experience
extreme anxiety or any feelings of panic I would suggest
you see a specialist simply to evaluate if more is at
hand than normal requirements of personal space.

First, try to determine what they are " getting " out of the contact
and relationship. In every ongoing human relationship there is
usually " something " you get. It may be attention, love,
money or any number of things, but as the source
dries up or loses interest the contact breaks off.

That is a big reason why marriages go sour. When the "something"
that one or both partners were getting and expecting slows or stops
they wander off in search of a new source for that specific "something".

Allow the young person to exercise self improvement on their own.

• Identify their need for the relationship.
• Replace that need if possible.
• Don't talk down to them.
• Don't try to force them
  
• Be understanding.
• Be open minded.
• Be supportive.
• Be loving.
• Be fair.